"Who are you?" ~ The Hookah-smoking Caterpillar, from Alice and Wonderland

I've recently noticed something interesting about our culture (or generation- I can't decide). When I used to click on "Friends" to check updated profiles of the Facebook friends, I would first see a list of all the profiles that had been altered. Now, when I click on "Friends", I initially see a list of the friends who have updated their status. It seems more and more that friends have been filling in their status as follows: "John Do is Psychology test!", "Jane Do is SCHOOL!", "John Do is Go Giants!", or "Jane Do is wanting a new house." Upon realizing this, I connected it to another recent realization I've had...

In an attempt to go deeper in my relationships with some of the girls in our youth group, I've asked a number of girls the same seemingly simple question- "Who are you?". Without fail each girl answered with things like, "Um, I like to shop...", "I get good grades...", "I play soccer", "I like Mexican food...", "I like Grey's Anatomy...", "I love chocolate...", "I don't like to sweat...", "I have an addiction to shoes...", "I have 1 brother...", "I want a Mercedes...", etc etc. So, I modified the question to "Tell me who you are, without saying 'I like-' or telling me things that you do, have, or want..." It took each girl a substantially longer amount of time to answer the question.

It's true, it really is hard to determine who we are without identifying ourselves to what we like, don't like, love, play, do, enjoy, want, or have. We tend to find our identity in those things, but aren't able to differentiate those things from ourselves. Does that make sense? Stick with me. We may play soccer, but we don't initially think of ourselves as "a soccer player". I am a soccer player; This is truer than "Jane Do is soccer practice". In an attempt to gain or shape our identity, I fear we lose ourselves in what we do.... or what we like, etc.

Perhaps this is intentional. Perhaps it goes all the way back to high school. We worked so hard in middle school to fit in and identify ourselves with others that when we get to high school, we realize we want to stand out a bit. Everybody is a soccer player, so we don't want to be known as "a soccer player". But we still want to play soccer. Perhaps this goes back to our fear of commitment.

Why is it that when we think of who we are, we can't help but think of what we like?! Is it because we are so afraid to pursue the things we like enough to consider ourselves something of it? We like music, but we don't practice enough on the guitar to consider ourselves a musician. The desire to be identified with music is there (hence the answer "I like music" when asked "Who are you?") but the inability to be considered a musician remains. So, why the temptation to answer with our likes and actions when addressing who we are?

Perhaps it's unintentional. Perhaps we just haven't thought enough about who we are apart from what we want to achieve. After all, our achievements should not make us who we are, right? If all we did was identify ourselves with what we do and like, (in my youth girl's case) we would be nothing more than a shopper, a nerd, a soccer player, a glutton, a couch potato, a diabetic, a lazy person, or a shoe addict. Hopefully, we aspire to create a deeper identity than one carved from what we like and do.

What makes me me? Rather than letting my mere likes and duties come to mind, I'd like my character and it's reasoning to come to mind... or my personality and it's cause.

I'd rather be identified with Something/one I can't manipulate. Someone who was purposeful about creating me.