Stella Never Lost Her Groove

Whattup peeps?!

If you found my blog via Twitter, I'd like to give you a shout-out. Here's to admitting "I am a creepy stalker who enjoys making egocentric-announcements!" CHEERS!  (glasses clink) 

As of late, I've been on a sort of blogging-strike. Why, you ask? Because, frankly, I'm a big baby. And I felt like folding my arms, pouting, turning around, and taking all my thoughts elsewhere. I'd rather not air the embarrassingly ridiculous reasons why, so, if you care to know, you'll have to ask. 

moving on

I recently turned 25. In my old age, I've noticed some rapid changes in myself. For instance... 

I was once agile. Multiple times a day, I would think "how did I avoid whacking my leg on that?" or "dropping that?" or "knocking that off the table"... but lately, I've been smacking myself in the face when shoeing away a fly, dropping my phone,  running into things, and underestimating how low I have to duck to get into the car... at first, I thought, perhaps I'm pregnant. But, I am not. So, I've come to the conclusion that I am just getting old and my reflexes are just slowing down.

also...

I was once such a heavy sleeper that I slept through class and work and my alarm blaring Counting Crows at it's max volume...for an hour... on a regular basis. But in recent years, I have been known to jolt out of bed on a Saturday morning at 7 because husband needs to be somewhere and I'm afraid he will sleep-in... or leap into the shower at 7 on a Sunday morning, because I think it's Monday and I'm afraid I'll miss work... and even wake up right before my alarm goes off... it appears I am becoming my mother, who gets up at 5am just for kicks and giggles... every day... (moms have super powers.... I will never be able to do that.) 

Either way, you can't argue. I am getting old. 

However,

despite the wear-n-tear that can rob a 25-year-old body of it's skills, I have decided that a person cannot lose their coolness. Coolness ain't no skill. It's a trait. 

Since school started, (no, I am not in school, nor do I not have kids in school), I've been feeling like I lost my cool-factor. You see, I lead the junior and senior girl's Bible study. And, I've had these same girls since they were freshman and sophomores. My girls used to tell me everything. e v e r y t h i n g ! They used to come to me about everything, they used to care what I think, they used to want my advice and approval, they used to be so easy... I am pretty confident that the feelings I've been having for the past couple of months are very similar to what a mother feels when she realizes her teenager doesn't want to have anything to do with her anymore. And it is very hard to deal with. Very hard on the ego.

By Sunday night, I had concluded that I was getting old, and would no longer be useful in youth ministry. I was depressed at the idea of being too old to have a coolness factor that can be used to influence the youth of today. 

sad day.

But Wednesday night, I had a revelation. I had decided we would take a break from the intense theological discussions we had been having (upon their request. yes, they are intellectuals) and celebrate National Game Playing Night. As we were centered around the game, laughing, joking, having a good time, it hit me... I'm not the one getting too old! They are the ones getting old! They are growing up! They are beginning to think more about things on their own. They are looking less at others to define them. They are learning how to not care what people think of them, but be considerate in how they make other people feel! It's not that I'm losing my grove, it's that they are gaining theirs! And, I've concluded that this is a healthy progression for them. 

Plus, I am relieved to tell myself that I haven't lost my edge... just yet. ;)