All or Nothing

Sometimes I just wish I could not pour my all into everything I do. Lately, I've found myself envying friends of mine who seemingly do nothing for a living. Somehow they are able to have such little concern about what they do for a living that you wouldn't even know they did anything at all. You'd think their livings were made from harvesting money trees or something. From pictures, you'd think life was paying them for adding stress free people to the earth. My life decisions are tinted by my "all or nothing" thought process. I'm wrapped up in everything I'm doing; restless in anything that doesn't require my all. And by "all", I mean all my energy, all my commitment, all my thoughts, all my effort- everything. Even if it's a shift job, I'll still take it home... think about it... lose sleep thinking of ways to enhance things... act as though the whole thing is a reflection of who I am... talk about it all the time to anyone... involve my husband... etc etc. As a result, I become attached. So attached that I feel incomplete as soon as it's not a part of my life anymore. Today, I just wish that I could come and go as unattached as the next person- not having impacted, not having been impacted.