Frustration

So, I'm in the process of writing my first official blog series (whatever that means). I've half-written an unpublished blog on faith. Each time I go to edit the post, I read, rearrange, and think, "I know these thoughts are related... but it doesn't really sound like it..." This thought gave birth to the idea that I should make it a series; I should separate each idea, opinion, and theory... and possibly even have some guest-bloggers contribute to the series... at least, these are my delusions of grandeur.

A friend of mine asked me if I knew how frustrating it was to not be able to articulate a thought. I submit that I know that frustration all too well. Each time I blog, the challenge to articulate what I'm saying concisely and effectively right-hooks me smack in the jaw. It takes me hours, and sometimes days, to publish despite this challenge. And considering how many unpublished blogs I have, I apparently do not always take the challenge by the neck. I often avoid. I am an avoider of sorts (more on that some other time).

All that to say that the term "frustrated" has become one of my favorite terms to describe my state of mind at times. So often, negative feelings are all lumped together. But when I describe my state of mind, I'm careful to use "angry" when I am, in fact, angry... "sad" when I am, in fact, sad... "disappointed" when I am, in fact, disappointed. You get the point.

When I am frustrated, I am not angry, I am not disappointed, I am not sad, I am not pissed... it's not an adrenaline-charged feeling. It's more a state of mind. Frustrated is the state of mind I am in, when I am accepting that whatever goal or idea I had of a situation has been nullified. And I know, in my heart of hearts, that this is just the way it is/should be. It's where I'm at when I am readjusting my perspective of the circumstances. Frustrated is more of a transition for me. It's what's in between uncomfortable and comfortable. It's where they meet. If that makes sense. It's like, when your stomach is growling while you're driving to lunch. It's frustrated.

To be frustrated is to be on your way to somewhere you didn't expect to be; but on your way, nonetheless.