This Will Change Your Life

Ladies and gentleman, (I'm pretty confident there is only one male who reads my blog)

I have news that will change your life forever. Remember this post? 'Turns out there is some sort of truth to my proclamation...

While we were in Canada, I joked about being allergic to running, when our friend, Luke, chimed in. Now, you must understand that Luke is a personal trainer- no, he's a magical personal trainer. He's the kind who can have you looking like a model faster than you can do a cartwheel. He's the kind you'd be scared of if you saw him in a dark alley. He's the kind who knows every segment of the human anatomy and could tell you how to work out muscles you didn't even know existed. The amount of anatomy he knows and understands is ridiculous...

Me: "Ewe, why would you go running?! It's vacation. I hate running. It hurts me. I'm allergic to it, you know?!"

Luke: "Well, the female body wasn't designed to handle running..."

Me: (all lit up) "Come again?!"

Luke: "Well, a man's body is pretty much a straight line. Whereas in a woman's body, her hips are set out wider than other parts of her body. This makes her femurs hit her knees at an angle. Your knees are directly under the middle of your body, where ours are more lined up with our hips. Your femurs hit your knees at an angle. This is unconducive to running. Do your knees hurt when or after you run?"

Me: (elated at how affirmed I felt) "Yes! Always!..."

The conversation continued to liberate me. We concluded that, considering the width of my hips (don't remind me), the length of my femurs (abnormally long), and the angle at which my femur and knee connect, I should stick with other forms of cardio. I am not meant for running! No more guilt! Yay! Freeeeeedoooooom!